Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Thursday, January 6, 2011

A case of the crab-ass

The Wee Ginger Beastie is in dreadful fettle today.

I'm convinced that a wandering hermit crab, disoriented from the cold, wandered in to my house, mistook her butt for a shell, crawled up her ass and set up housekeeping. Now it's pinching her tuchus and causing her to be an absolute Toddlesaurus.

Clothes? To Hell with clothes. She'd rather be naked and feral -- despite the fact that it's colder than Pelosi's box up here.

Food? There is no food oh Earth hat would satisfy her. Cereal, fruit, hot cocoa, milk, water, juice -- all have been summarily eye-rolled, though she will wander in to the kitchen and whine that she's hungry. Even peanut butter and nutella isn't the right thing.

Toys? "I don't have anything to plaaaaaay with." "I'm tirrrrred." "NO!" "NO!" "NO!"

We've bundled up and gone for a walk, and played hide and seek/chase-ass around the house.

Naps have been rejected out of hand.

Three temper tantrums in to the day, and I am praying for a wandering band of Gypsies.


  1. Did you try heating up her Baboo in the dryer? Is Biteypants avoiding her?

  2. Ahhh, toddlers. Nature's little bundles of birth control.

    Everyone has those days. Difference with little ones is they haven't been conditioned to internalize it all.

  3. LOL- I have to agree with DB... somedays you just CANNOT win...

  4. Snow ball fight, like it or not.

  5. There's never a band of gypsies around when you really need them.

    Although I did get really yelled by my wife when I handed our then 13 month old daughter out the front door to the Jehovah's Witnesses that picked a really bad day to ring the bell.

    -I'm not signing those so no one will know who posted it and I won't get yelled at again by my wife.


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