Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

"Ooops," Part the third.

It was probably the longest six weeks of my teaching career. Thank God my other classes were well in hand, and had good students. In addition, several former students, having heard the buzz on campus, started swinging the truncheons in my favor. At one point, trudging to my doom class, a very flamboyant student from several semesters previous ran up, all a'twitter:

"I just want you to know that I will NOT tolerate those snippy bitches, and the Gay Mafia has your back, sister!"

"Uhm. That's lovely, Jerome. What are you speaking of?" (Jerome is very dramatic, and everything he says has dramatic flair -- snaps in the air, gestures and eyerolls. It's amusing.)

"WELL. Carl, in my Fashion Class, told me he overheard some of those students from your *new* class badmouthing you. EVERYone knows I adore you,because I would have failed out if it weren't for you kicking my butt,  and all my friends know I just  would NOT allow that kind of shit-prattle in my presence. So Carl told me, and I took those uppity snatches in had. Ooooo, I let them have it!"

"Well, thanks. I appreciate it."

"Oh, no worries. If you have any more problems, you just let me know, because my God, those cows are just the end. All my girls are on it, too -- the Gay Mafia is you copilot!"

This cheered me slightly. Another former student, now a peer mentor, dropped an e-mail indicating that a couple of current students were her mentees, and that she had given out some ass-kickings, as well.

Maybe I would survive the semester, after all!

I used the academic calendar in my planner as a countdown, and got immense satisfaction from crossing the days off. If I could make it to Easter, I wold be home free!

Except for student evaluations. And individual conferences. And grade submissions.


  1. And really, who could want a better co-pilot than the Gay Mafia??

  2. Wife gave her finals last week turned in her final grades Monday and now she's free until September!

  3. Ever have a really good class? I Know you understand the one I speak of. The class that made you so proud... the one you couldn't wait to get to, you were so excited to work with.

    Well, this class now is the other end of that pendulum swing.

    The thing is, you will probably be changing a few lives even in this class of slackers who expect everything for nothing.

    You are a Pro, and you will survive this batch just fine. When it's over, lift a glass of finest whiskey and toast another hurdle crawled under, and a fine batch of twerps you will never deal with again.

  4. I just read the other parts of this story. If you are speaking about the institution I think you are, then (a) I am not the least surprised with their actions, from personal experience, and (b) they have a LOT to answer for.... which they will steadfastly refuse to do until they reach the gates of hell... wondering all the while where the smoke is coming from.

    There are bodies buried at that whorehouse, and they have gotten very, very good at turning their problems into other peoples problems. They have literally screwed over legions worth of students with known false promises, all in the name of making a buck.

    Keep copies of everything. If it comes down to it, screw FERPA and tell them you are willing to go public with everything if they screw with you, and in lurid detail to. Publicity is the only thing they fear, like any cockroach fears the light.

  5. This, too, shall pass. And it's good to hear the Brotherhood of the Flailing Wrist has swung into action :)

  6. Wow. What a tale. All one can say is, those who would volunteer to clean the stables of Augeus may expect to end up wearing some crap. As for Augeus himself, one can only place one's faith in The Retribution That Is Divine.

    On the good side... this should earn you some serious brownie points in the Celestial Ledger.


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