Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Embarrassment X2

My dignity...:(

Last Friday, I volunteered to be a Mass driver for SnarkGirl's school. They go every Friday, and uf the weather is nice, they walk. If it rains, they ask parents who can help to ferry kids to and fro.

I made two trips hauling kids, and made a last pass to grab a couple of the teachers. I ended up with Dr. Beardy (the Headmaster), Dr. Philo (the history and philosophy teacher) and Mr. Mink (the maths and Latin teacher).  As we made the five-minute drive, Dr. Beardy decided to turn on the radio to catch something on KYW...

Of course, at this point, I should mention that I like to play my music loud when I am in the car alone, and that my taste in music is eclectic at best. Frankly,  iTunes + blank CDs + my musical tastes = some seriously obnoxious mix CDs for personal car consumption.

Which is why these three austere, staid and learned gentlemen were blasted by Depeche Mode's "Master and Servant" as soon as he turned on the stereo. Dr. Beardy's flailing for the "skip" button did not improve matters when the next song to come blaring out was Nine Inch Nails' "Closer."

Oh, dear.

Once the noise was dispensed with, an awkward silence fell over the car. Until Mr. Mink started to giggle. Dr. Philo, sounding impressed, whispered, "Told you she was probably freaky." Dr. Beardy smirked a great deal and uttered some suspiciously-chuckle-sounding coughs.

God damn it.


SnarkGirl is getting to That Age. She has Questions. Generally, I encourage her to ask away, and do my best to answer honestly and completely -- and most importantly, without embarrassment.

Of course, I try to encourage her to ask her questions discreetly. This does not always compute in a pre-teen's mind, though. A couple of months ago, she asked her Daddy what "the big deal about penises was," nearly causing him to chock on his pot pie and collapse in a puddle of embarrassment.

At dinner last night, she busted out one of her most burning questions:  "So, Mommy, Daddy...do you guys still have sex, or what?"

Followed by OctoBoy's perking up to ask, "What's sex?"

And Ginger Beastie chanting, "Sex, sex, sex...."

Calvin's Dad just about stroked out, right there at the table. I also was taken aback a bit. He harrumphed something along the lines of "Theology of the Body! The marriage covenant! Healthy relations!" and excused himself.

I just looked her in the eye and said, "Yeah."


"What's the ...."

"Let's continue this discussion after dinner, in the privacy of your room, hmm?"

"Oh, OK. Is Daddy OK?"

"I think he just needs a minute, babe."


  1. I nearly lost it all at "Told you she was probably freaky."


  2. I've had that conversation with my daughter. It takes years off your life.

  3. This does not bode well for future conversations with our girls.

    It should be interesting.

  4. Just tell her you do it to keep climate change at bay.

  5. I may be smiling for hours from this post.

    Thank you.

  6. Fortunately we aren't at those conversations yet.

    And I can relate on the music, having a rather eclectic swath in my own collection (yes, including both you mentioned!) But I would have died laughing to watch their reaction to yours.

    Maybe there's a reason I don't play my iPod in the work truck...

  7. LOL, thanks for the laugh, and yeah, those conversations 'are' fun... NOT...

  8. Totally sympathize, here. Eleven-year-old female daughter will be shortly bringing me to the brink of sanity with similar questions. The Missus will be mercilessly thrown under the bus for most of the answers. I am well aware of the "Why don't you go ask your mother?" tactic, and I'm not afraid to use it.

  9. My brother did something similer at about age 12 or so, infront of the church pastor.......

  10. You live the most interesting life...

    Just saying.


    OMGOMGOMG! Thank you for this awesome morning laugh.


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