Harumpf. (Oh, Hi there! Long time no see...)

Balancing 1 husband,  2 jobs, 3 pets (and 3 children) and countless assorted freshmen and douchebags...wait. Freshmen and douchebags? I repeat myself.

 So, I acquired a second job back in late August, which played havoc with scheduling, free time, personal obligations and other such nonsense. Hence the long absence. I am going to try to be a bit more responsible in blogging from here on out. Promise.

In addition to trying to hammer writing skills into college students who are still in the larval stage, I started working in an elementary school library. k through 8th grade. It's done wonders for helping me come up with creative alternatives to cursing.

See, the (very elderly and extraordinarily crabby) nun that was running the library hit the unpadded kneelers a few too many times and ended up with a double knee replacement. The Pope himself had to force her into retirement, leaving no one to read stories to children using puppets and goofy voices.

That simply would not do.

As I volunteered fairly regularly and subbed for Sister on multiple occasions -- and because I apparently have "SUCKER" tattooed on my forehead in ink that is only visible to nuns -- I was asked to step in. Because the same order runs both the uni and the school, everyone was more than willing to schedule around college classes and elementary obligations and suddenly...BOOM!

Basically full-to-overflowing commode of commitments, and nary a plunger in sight.The last 7 months in a nutshell:

"Fuck summer classes. I'm not teaching shit. I may quit altogether!" (Can you say 'burnout?')

"Shit. I am bored. Not bored enough to teach Summer I or II, but...I might miss it a bit."

"Whoa. Budget's tight."

"Three overloaded classes for fall? Extra pay? Hell, yes!"

"Library job? Nah, I have...wait. You talked to the Dean already? Two days on campus, three at the elementary school? Done deal? Both Sisters signed the papers already? Huh?"

"FUCK THAT MEANS DOUBLE THE FACULTY MEETINGS FUCKFUCKFUCK!"

"Ugh. I forgod liddle kids gib me germs and I'b had a code for four months."

"Hi, library supply depot? Lick my 'taint. These are not the book covers I ordered. Also, throw another copy of 'The pout-pout Fish'  in our box."

"The amazing thing is there's little to no difference in teaching kindergarteners and college freshmen."

"This crop of paper cuts is from research papers. This set is from covering books."

"NO OVERDUES. Papers or books, doesn't matter."

"Thank God and Baby Jesus for Christmas break. And booze."

 "Wait. I go back tomorrow? Fuuuuuuck."

That about covers it. Obviously it was an eventful fall, and I'll play catch-up with more substantial blog posts later.

Happy new year!