Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Mother Hen says...

If you show up to a 9:30 AM class reeking of stale alcohol, smoke and questionable life choices, I am going to give you a Look.

That Look will cool several degrees if I notice what appears to be either crusted vomit or "gentleman's relish" in your hair. Ditto the smeared eye makeup, missing earring and what appears to be a hell of a hickey on your clavicle.

If it becomes evident, over the course of the first fifteen minutes of class, that you are still inebriated from the previous night's festivities, due to excessive stumbling, inability to modulate your voice, obnoxious cackling for no apparent reason and falling out of your seat four times in ten minutes, i will not look the other way.;

Yes, I will embarrass you by calling you out to speak to you in the hall.

If you can't focus your eyes, stand up straight or speak without slurring, I'm going to ask you to collect your stuff and leave.

Jesus Haploid Christ. Have some self-respect. Failing that, have some frickin' common sense.

(Not being a complete ogre, I let the roommate out of class to escort said student back to the dorm and babysit. Someone is going to be dreadfully embarrassed to come to class next week, I think.)


  1. I had a student get off the bus, and stand next to the school disciplinarian for a chat.... with a big gulp cup in hand..... which was NOT soda.

    I met him as he staggered into class, for that nice long stumble down to the office.

    Drinking on the school bus in the morning. Sheesh. Silly child.

  2. Let's hope this is the equivalent of a head on a pike along the road and serves as an example to others.

  3. Assuming that she even remembers it.

  4. And assuming that she comes back to class ever again, instead of simply dropping it.

  5. Just when I remember how young and stupid I once was, I read your blog and am reminded that I was never THAT stupid. That said, I should hope that the remaining students in the class learn from that example . . .

  6. The sad part is that she probably won't be even slightly embarrassed. You however will be a stick up ass prude for disapproving.

    Welcome to the 21st century.


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