Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

He died the way he lived...

...with car parts in his anus.

Seriously, if you're going to drink and drive -- or drive in excess of 100 MPH on a two-lane country road rife with winding turns** and Kamikaze deer -- you're asking for a Darwin award.

The first picture is from the local news affiliates. It's what's left of a 2007 Porsche 911 GT3 after it hit a guard rail, plowed through several yards of trees and foliage and burned to the frame. The two occupants died of "blunt force and thermal trauma,"  according to the local coroners prelim autopsy report. Tox isn't in yet, but he tweeted a pic of himself and two buds (one of whom was the other fatality) drinking at Barnaby's in West Chester, and they all looked pretty hammered. I'd not wager on BAC (mostly because I'm not sure how they'd test, given the crash and subsequent fire).

I hope with all my heart that they were both dead on impact, and didn't suffer. The idea of being torn to pieces and then burning alive is a dreadful one.

The second picture is from Dunn's infamous "stuff a toy car up his ass" stunt on "Jackass." Yes, he really did use his rectum as a carpark for a Matchbox car.

(**I live about ten minutes from the accident scene, and drive by it several times a week. People drive like absolute speeding assholes, and there are routinely accidents with fatalities along its length.)


  1. Well, now he's a poster boy for stupid... Sadly, he killed somebody else too...

  2. Wow, never saw a car that badly burned before. I agree, I hope he wasn't conscious after impact.

  3. My guess, BAC of .25 or higher. That's the usual range for this stuff. You can get it by liquifiying the spleen, it's got a lot of blood in it, or draw vitreous humor from the eye, that's fairly well protected.

  4. ...with car parts in his anus.

    Aaaaaand that marks the end of the jokes about this guy. No one's gonna top that!

    Well done. No pun intended:)


  5. ...with car parts up his anus.

    Pure perfection.

    Speeding Assholes: Thinning the herd 1-2 assholes at a time!


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