Grossbuckets.

• Adjustment of "personal regions" (boobs or junk) should be confined to the restrooms. I do not care how cute you think the soccer player one aisle over is; no one needs to see you wrangling your puppies into place in order to show him maximum cleavage.
• If you're going to jam your index finger up your schnozz high enough to retrieve gray matter, for God's sweet sake, do not pop it into your mouth and slurp it with obvious relish. 
• Having retrieved any noxious bodily secretion (such as earwax), feel free to wipe it on your person, not the desk top.
• If it's really that itchy, see Campus Health.
• I don't mind if you eat in class, but bringing a nutcracker and a bag of walnuts is excessive.
• Do not give pedicures to yourself or others in lecture hall.
• I'm sorry you're out of EZ-Wide. However, textbooks are for reading, not seeding and stemming. Yes, I saw you tear the flyleaf out of your book and roll a phat one. That's why security  was loitering in the hall after class.
• When I see you with your lap top open and a cheesetastic, distant smirk on your face, and the three girls behind you are visibly disgusted, I will come close your porn-laden lap top. I don't care if it was "getting to the good part."

Great googly moogly.