Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Are all hippies utterly insane attention whores who feel the need to lecture perfect strangers?

Yesterday was Ginger Beastie's end-of-preschool-year picnic at a local park. The school hired a DJ, there was a peanut toss, sack races....everyone brought their own lunches, and the school provided ice cream treats and entertainment.

It was the "everyone bring their own lunches" that caused the rumble.

Our area is suburban-to-rural; we have a mix of dumb ass city folk who move "out to the country to experience farm life" and then complain about the smell of cowshit, and we have people who get up at 4 to feed their cows before dressing in their Hagar slacks to go to corporate IT and Pharma jobs.  We have stay-at-home Fundie moms and doctor moms and corporate director moms and hippie vegan non-vax moms.  It's an eclectic mix.

Well, yesterday's picnic was...tense, because one of the hippie vegan moms publically accused one of the corporate director moms of blatant child abuse, and told her that she ought to have her kids confiscated by Child Protective Services.


Because CD mom (who took vacation time, left work, ran home, picked up her toddler and came to the friggin' picnic in her suit -- just so the could GO to the picnic with her son -- and had to go back to work right after the picnic was over), instead of packing a lunch, drove through McDonald's and brought chicken nuggets. Vegan mom was terminally offended, grasped her throat and gagged dramatically, and proceeded to launch into a tirade about Big Meat, hormone-laden chicken, body thetans and chicken karma. She actually let her child eat deep-fried, battered nuggets of karmic death and vile chemical mutation!

Now, I'm not a huge fan of Mickey D's, but a) it's her kid, b) he doesn't get fast food often and c) it's HER FRICKIN' KID.

CD mom was not amused, but took the high road and ignored her. VM got louder. Eventually, VM looked like a raving lunatic, hands in her hair, tears on her face while she gave a hoarse, impassioned rant about Mother Gaia and how people like CD (and most of the other moms) were killing children by feeding them white bread, peanut butter and capri sun juice bags. The school director eventually pulled her aside and calmed her down.

Wile this was going on, VM's son -- who looks sort of weedy, pale and unhealthy -- sidled over the CD's son. CD's son palmed him a nugget and a handful of fries, and they went off to wreak havok.

I've never seen a kid inhale a McNugget so fast.


Ginger Beastie and I walked Octo-Boy to school...only to have to turn around and walk right back to pick up some contraband that Sister Meatball had confiscated.

It seems that he thought (it being two weeks from the end of the school year) today would be a good day to bring along his vampire fangs, and wear them for morning prayer.

After all, they say two "Hail Marys" every morning, and the line does go, "Blessed art thou among wolf men," right?


  1. Yes, they are. Spoiled morons with no lives, they are kin to the people who tell you what you are allowed to do in the privacy of your bedroom. They can all go suck eggs.

    William the Coroner

  2. Wolf men - *giggles madly*

    As for Vegan Mom - Oh, for cryin' out loud, lady, get a life. And get off the cross, it ain't your job or your place.

    Good on CD's kid for good-hearted sharing!

  3. If there was ever evidence that tasers were divinely-inspired, this is it. You should have brought your banhammer to the picnic.

    Vegan/anti-vaxxers are an insane cult.

  4. During the middle ages, nobles were able to bitchslap peasants on the battlefield at will, because they grew up eating meat.

    They were not rail thin stunted dwarfs, unlike the average peasant, who was damned lucky if he got a bit of meat once a week.

    VM really IS abusing abusing her kid, via religiously inspired protean deprivation.

  5. No; some of us derive far more enjoyment from snickering at others behind their backs. Utterly insane vegan attention whores who feel the need to lecture strangers give us true hippies a bad name. Besides, no one is perfect.

    WV=consubia (sex in the suburbs?)

  6. The thing is... once someone raises their voice to you, you have asked them to stop, and they continue... it becomes assault and the nice officers can take a decided interest. Especially when it's done in front of kids.

    BTDT, and had a verbally abusive scoutmaster spend a few hours with the kind men who wear badges. He resigned, shortly after he wrote out some appologies under their gaze.

  7. Perhaps it is time for the Sisters to inform HippieMom she should find an educational institution for her child that more closely aligns with her life choices...

    I.e. "Don't let the door hit you where God split you."

  8. Since I would NOT have put up with VM, it's probably I good thing I wasn't there. And Carteach0 is correct- That IS assault.

  9. I'm rather impressed that CD mom got Mme. Soylent to make such an arse of herself simply by doing nothing. That's some ninja shit right there. I imagine her giving VM a thin, condescending smile as the school director led the latter away, just to rub it in.

  10. I have a bit of sympathy for vegan mom's position, in that C. McNuggets really are deep-fried, battered nuggets of karmic death and vile chemical mutation.

    Quarter-pounders with cheese, on the other hand, are a health food. Big Macs aren't bad, either, but the QPC is more easily controlled at 75 miles per.

  11. To answer the question posted, yes. Generally speaking, all militant liberals ARE insane attention whores who feel the need to lecture perfect strangers.

    After all, what's the point of being morally superior if the proles surrounding you don't know it?

    That being said, I've always had a smidgen of respect for vegans, only because I have to give them credit where credit is due as so much they have the willpower to resist the urge to eat meat.

    Which is fine, but please don't deem to lecture me while I dig into a nice big juicy steak which is only technically dead. Or as A. Whitney Brown once said, "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

  12. Vegans.

    It's the 99% of those strident tofuistas that give the other 1% a bad name.


Play nicely with others, or eat banhammer.