Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Gas station etiquette

One of the errands I ran yesterday was heading over to the WaWa and gassing up the Imperial Battlecruiser for the upcoming week. It being a Saturday, the WaWa was hopping inside and out -- all 12 pumps were occupied and all four registers inside had lines.

While I waited my turn to pull up to the pump and get gas, I observed two prime examples of genus douchebaggis obnoxii.

'Bag the first: a woman who had strategically pulled her car parallel to two pumps. She was right in the middle of the lane. she was using the rear pump, but was pulled far enough forward that no one could use the front pump at all; there was no way to back into the slot, or back far enough in to stretch the hose to reach a gas tank. She was singularly unaware that this was sheer asshattery on her part. When one old guy asked her to back up a bit so he could fit his Honda in, she cussed him out and told him to "Get sum gawdam patience, ya old bastid!'

'Bag the second:  a young dude sitting at the pump, in his car, on his cellphone. Now, the WaWa really was crowded, and there were three people circling like sharks, waiting for their turns to gas up. Assclown sat in his car chatting away while I waited my turn, pulled up, walked in, hit the ATM, pre-paid for my gas, filled up and got my change. As I was pulling away from the pump, he hung up, walked in and paid for his gas.

If only we were allowed to thwack people for public idiocy.

5 comments:

  1. Sigh... it's getting that bad everywhere... NO common courtesy anymore. Thumping would be ONLY for the 1st offence, it would be worse for the 2dn

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  2. If we were allowed, we would be very, very busy.

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  3. I've found that ample application of dope-slaps can keep the population of these pests, if not down, at least in control.

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  4. I dunno, Old NFO...people in Texas sure seem friendly and polite...one of the myriad of reasons I love living here so much!

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  5. "When one old guy asked her to back up a bit so he could fit his Honda in, she cussed him out and told him to "Get sum gawdam patience, ya old bastid!'"

    The problem is simple: a basic misuse of the English language on the old guy's part. The proper mode of address in this situation is as follows:

    "Back the fuck up, whyncha? What are you, fuckin' stupid or sumpin?"

    ReplyDelete

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