Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

A student (not one of mine) gets a happy ending.

It's Finals Week -- with all the pathos and drama that comes with it. I arrived at the appointed time and space for our final, unpacked and watched the Usual Suspects file in and take their accustomed seats. There was much yawning, scratching and overall crabbiness.

I counted noses and came up with one extra. An UNusual Suspect! I did not recognize the young man -- not in a "you're on my list but have never come to class" way, but in a "who the ever-loving Hell are you?" way. He looked exhausted and pissed and generally disgruntled as Hell. I checked my roll again, counted noses a second time, and walked to his desk.

"Excuse me....are you here to sit the 'Principles of Lit Wankery' exam?"
"Naw. I'm here for 'Hard Science With Lots of Math.'Are you the procter?"
"Nope. This is our English exam. I think you're in the wrong place."

Very aggravated, he yanked out his exam schedule. "It SAYS, room 221, Large Marble Hall, 1:15 on the damn 6th of May!"

God Bless Mr. SoccerJock in the back, who hollered (disgustedly), "It's the fucking 5th, fool."

Lost Student blinked repeatedly, and then the largest, most beatific smile plastered itself across his face. "REALLY?" His voice cracked on that one syllable. "I have one more day? I HAVE ONE MORE DAY! WOOT!!!"

Then he practically floated out of the room and down the hall. Whether or not he made good use of his reprieve I have no idea, but he looked as if he'd seen the angel-kissed summit of heaven for about ten seconds.

Mr. SoccerJock put paid to the incident: "At least SOMOENE is getting a happy ending around here, 'cause I am fucked for this here exam."

And yes, he was.

1 comment:

  1. Y'know... I feel for the dude. Back in the day, I could learn a truly astonishing amount of math in one day. Not that I retained a whole hell of a lot of it an hour after the exam, but that's short-term memory for you.


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