Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Please, for the love of GOD: wear shoes.

No matter how much glitter or how many faux gems you affiix, they're still  fucking flip-flops. Best at the beach, not so much during Mass.

The "slap-slap" noise they make as they flap against your meaty, callus-ridden, cracked heels is obnoxious.  Plus, flapping them against your heels to make the noise deliberately when you're bored is douchebaggery.

I can see your yellowed, raggedy, jagged, dirt-encrusted toe claws protruding over the leading edges of the flip-flops. You could have planted bulbs in the detritus around your big toenails.

The corns on your feet are the size of Mount Rainier, only somewhat less photogenic.

Your feet overflowed the bottom sole of the flip-flops; I've never seen foot-based muffin-top before.

Finally: yes, everyone including the Priest noticed you picking at said calluses, corns and orc-claws during the homily. This is why no one would shake your hand during the Sign of Peace.

On the upside, I am now so grossed out that sticking to my diet today will be a damn breeze.



  1. Blech! Now imagine having to massage said feet...;)

    See how helpful I am? Now sticking to your diet will be a breeze.

  2. Yeah, we were commenting on how casual dressing for church has become. One young lady a couple of months ago wore jeans cut so low in the back I'm pretty sure she should have gone to confession for them.

  3. People don't dress up anymore to go ANYWHERE! Sigh... You'd 'think' Church would be the last place someone would pull a stunt like that.

  4. People don't dress up for church; they dress for whatever activity comes next on a Sunday. Church is just one item on a to-do list, and it's not even the most important task for most people. Sad to think that the sacrifice of the Creator of the Universe rates lower on certain priority lists than seeing the kickoff of the next football game. Honestly, I'd like to see people attending Sunday sporting events dressed in their Sunday best, advertising their allegiance to the King of Kings, not the NFL.

  5. Well, I was here to comment on the lack of dressing-up for Church, but it seems that some folks beat me to the punch.

    And Christina? Just damn...


  6. At least they actually do show up, unlike most? (I actually agree with y'all; I'm just playing Devil's advocate for moment).


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