Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Meet the Corporate Fleet.

This week marks Vacation Bible Camp for my two eldest children. I am frantically trying to organize and pack for a weeks' family vacation, so VBS gives me a morning of respite to Get Shit Accomplished.

Mostly Cajun writes up a weekly post on the ridiculous names that some people curse their children with. In that vein, I tell you this...

I was distressed to meet the young ladies in SnarkGirl's class. A majority of them were named for luxury vehicles.  A Mercedes, a Beemer(!), a brace of girls named Lexus (what is the plural of "Lexus?" Lexii?), a Denali and a Tahoe.  ( actually asked the moms of Denali and Tahoe if they were named after geographic locations or SUVs. It was a 50/50 split.)

We also had a few children named after vacation resorts: a Hampton, a Seychelle and a Maldive.

What the fucking fuck? What screams "Materialistic Yuppie Assmunch" louder than naming your kids for status symbols?

13 comments:

  1. Maybe they're naming the kids after the vehicle where they were conceived?

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  2. How very A Fish Called Wanda :)

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  3. My impression of things is that children with weird given names tend to wind up having Frequent Flyer Cards in the criminal justice system.

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  4. I've noticed this disturbing trend, as well. I can deal with kids being named after places. At least that bears some significance. But automobiles? Seriously?

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  5. "Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Kia Fallapart Shitbox."

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  6. Hi there Kia...nice to bump into you....my name is Hummer Rolls Beemer. I'm a big load that is always broke, but I've got great looks!

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  7. Almost as bad as naming a daughter Siddarth... sigh...

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  8. "hey ho, my name is Edsel and this here is my sister Mustang."

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  9. It is tacky to the point that I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the parents. There are a few place names you could get away with, Juno comes to mind quickly. Perhaps I'll see if I can wring a post out of that.

    Jim

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  10. No Audi?

    Not to be contrarian, but most people can spell Mercedes, Tahoe, and in a pinch, Denali. Quite unlike LaDanian (with or without apostrophe) or Shaquille. The department I work in has a LaTondra (who goes by Toni), a LaToya (who goes by Toy), and a Da'Metrious (who goes by Da'Metrious.)

    Just sayin'...

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  11. You got all those names off girls just in SnarkGirl's class? Damn!



    tweaker

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  12. Can't be too look-down-on myself, our daughter is named Summer. Had a girl on her rec league soccer team named Asia, another named Tiara (maybe had a sister named Crown Victoria?). Sorry (but not too much).

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  13. Well, to be fair, Mercedes was a name before it was a car. Likewise, Edsel.

    However, five will get you ten that those kids are named after the cars.

    I really must point people to this site. http://notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/index.html

    Also, for a great morning laugh, read your local paper's birth announcements. Hilarity ensues on most mornings.

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